Some people have a need to talk when there is something not so right in their lives. Me, I tend to shut down. Completely. Which, while is probably not very healthy, is something that I have just been used to doing.
This time I made a big effort and slightly unloaded. To 3 people.
Making yourself vulnerable is really hard. But, I am glad I did.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
The story of the goat
Has anything ever happened to you, that if you heard it from someone else; you'd never ever have believed it?
I was about 32w pregnant with C and happened to be loading Riley into the car to head home from mums. Mum had come out to say goodbye and we were nattering away in the sunshine. Normal day.
I heard a noise that sounded like a kid crying. It got louder and louder; but not in intensity, just that it was getting closer. Up at the T-intersection, was a guy walking past. With a kid. As in a baby freaking goat. Dragging it by the back legs.
Now. I should stop here and inform you of a number of things.
1. My mothers house is in definate suburbia. I mean, parks etc are nearby, but by anyones definition; this is suburbia. Please keep this in mind.
2. I (and my mother) are huge animal rights activists. Huge. Both of us happen upon stray animals quite regularly; all of our family pets have happened upon us. Molly, who was going to get drowned; spot, who we found in a wood pile etc etc. Any sort of animal cruelty makes me ill.
3. I am 32 weeks pregnant (and there is something about me and 32 weeks pregnant. Riley, I cracked my cocxyc and C, this happened and then 2 days later I smashed my face. I aint having more children for largely that reason alone!!)
4. It was rubbish day, so everyones bins were still out. Empty, but out.
Ok.
So, we see this guy walking up the road dragging a baby goat. After we picked our mouths up off the ground (after all, this is suburbia), mum starts yelling at the man to put the goat down.
He completely ignores my mother and keeps ambling along, with this dear little goat bleating behind him, dragged on his back.
My mother, instantly turned into a screaming harpie. It's like a switch for her; but she's screaming at the guy. I'm standing at the car with my son in his carseat gibbering away - he's got no idea what is going on.
Mum realises that screaming like a banshee is not working. She yells out to me to 'stay there, I'm going to call the police' and I'm still standing there dumbfounded that a freaking goat is being dragged up the road!!
The cleaner comes out to see what is going on and I think 'you know, I should just follow him and see where he's going so that I can tell the police where he is (you know, because the police are sooo going to come out sirens blazing over a goat being dragged up the road). I ask the cleaner to watch R whilst I follow.
I carefully make my way up to the corner, because I can't see him anymore. You know, I am a girl, I am 32 weeks pregnant and this guy could be an absolute nutter. (You know, just in case the dragging of the goat didn't confirm that).
k l;k
I see him as soon as I turn the corner. He's screaming all sorts of something at me and I'm just trying to get the goat off him. I plead, beg, yell and even offer to buy the freaking goat; just please stop dragging it along the footpath like that.
Dunno if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but Mr nutty goat man decided to take my advice and stop dragging the goat. Very swiftly, he picked up the goat and carried it to our neighbours recycling bin. And put the goat into the bin, takes the bin and proceeds up the road with a wheely bin with a goat inside.
I was utterly horrified.
I'm still following him at this point; far enough away that I could run (yeah, who was I kidding, maybe I could've rolled) away, but close enough to be able to talk (?) to him and see where he was going.
He was getting rather agitated at me at this point, and started telling me to 'Piss off'. I kept repeating no, I was not going to piss off until he either let the goat go, or give the goat to me. That the police had been called and were on their way.
He started roaring at me - I was this, that and the other thing; and not only that, he did have a gun and was going to shoot me. I didn't believe he had a gun (seriously, he was more looney than scary), and figured his aim was going to be fairly off trying to lug a wheely bin, a goat and himself up, what was starting to be, a bloody big hill.
He crossed through the park and stopped to catch his breath. I stopped when he stopped, after all, I wasn't out to be a hero - I just wanted to know where he was going. Anyway, he took the goat out of the bin and went into the backyard of a house opposite the park.
I was rapt at this point. He was in a backyard, he couldn't possibly chuck the goat over a fence or anything, and the police were going to be there soon (of course they were, a goat was being dragged!!). But, of course, the owner of the house happened to pull into his driveway at just that time.
The little elderly gentleman hopped out of his car and looked at me funny; after all, I was pregnant, hot, frustrated and standing out the front of his house. I told him that maybe he might not want to go in there just yet; because there was a lunatic with a goat (I know, can you believe it!!) in his backyard and he might just want to wait for the police.
Instead of looking worried, this 4ft little italian man went beserk. Screaming obscenties (well, I'm sure they were, they sounded like it!!) with 'He got my goat, I keeeel him, I keeeel him!!' every so often.
He abrubtly turned from me and marched into his backyard. And dragged this lunatic out on by his ear. It was the oddest sight I had ever seen; this tiny little Italian bloke dragging out this 6ft tall lunatic. But, the weirdest bit was yet to come.
There were TWO goats. Little Italian man, as it turned out, also had a goat. And he thought that 6ft tall lunatic had stolen his goat. What started off as a screaming argument between them turned out to be a Thanks, have a great day amongst the two of them. Little Italian man shakes his hand, takes the goat and walks inside, not even looking backward at me.
I'm standing over the road with my mouth gaping open. I literally cannot believe it. Two goats in the one street.
So, little Italian man has gone inside and I am left all alone with one lunatic and no goat. He marches over to me, grabs my shoulder and starts screaming about some girl called Sue at the RSPCA. I say nothing except 'you should NOT drag a goat up the road' and eventually he just gives up and shoves me away. He starts up the bloody big hill.
I'm ok, but am very hacked off at the police; I bloody told them he was a nutter. And, not two seconds after he leaves my line of sight, Keystone cops style, 3 cars come screaming up the road. I pointed out the direction he took and wandered back to mums.
On the way home I realised what an idiot I had been and howled until I got to mums. Where we waited for the police to come and take a statement. And waited. And waited.
We're still waiting.
Now. If someone told you that story you'd not ever have believed it. But, true enough; every single thing happened!!
Bizarre or what?!!!
I was about 32w pregnant with C and happened to be loading Riley into the car to head home from mums. Mum had come out to say goodbye and we were nattering away in the sunshine. Normal day.
I heard a noise that sounded like a kid crying. It got louder and louder; but not in intensity, just that it was getting closer. Up at the T-intersection, was a guy walking past. With a kid. As in a baby freaking goat. Dragging it by the back legs.
Now. I should stop here and inform you of a number of things.
1. My mothers house is in definate suburbia. I mean, parks etc are nearby, but by anyones definition; this is suburbia. Please keep this in mind.
2. I (and my mother) are huge animal rights activists. Huge. Both of us happen upon stray animals quite regularly; all of our family pets have happened upon us. Molly, who was going to get drowned; spot, who we found in a wood pile etc etc. Any sort of animal cruelty makes me ill.
3. I am 32 weeks pregnant (and there is something about me and 32 weeks pregnant. Riley, I cracked my cocxyc and C, this happened and then 2 days later I smashed my face. I aint having more children for largely that reason alone!!)
4. It was rubbish day, so everyones bins were still out. Empty, but out.
Ok.
So, we see this guy walking up the road dragging a baby goat. After we picked our mouths up off the ground (after all, this is suburbia), mum starts yelling at the man to put the goat down.
He completely ignores my mother and keeps ambling along, with this dear little goat bleating behind him, dragged on his back.
My mother, instantly turned into a screaming harpie. It's like a switch for her; but she's screaming at the guy. I'm standing at the car with my son in his carseat gibbering away - he's got no idea what is going on.
Mum realises that screaming like a banshee is not working. She yells out to me to 'stay there, I'm going to call the police' and I'm still standing there dumbfounded that a freaking goat is being dragged up the road!!
The cleaner comes out to see what is going on and I think 'you know, I should just follow him and see where he's going so that I can tell the police where he is (you know, because the police are sooo going to come out sirens blazing over a goat being dragged up the road). I ask the cleaner to watch R whilst I follow.
I carefully make my way up to the corner, because I can't see him anymore. You know, I am a girl, I am 32 weeks pregnant and this guy could be an absolute nutter. (You know, just in case the dragging of the goat didn't confirm that).
k l;k
I see him as soon as I turn the corner. He's screaming all sorts of something at me and I'm just trying to get the goat off him. I plead, beg, yell and even offer to buy the freaking goat; just please stop dragging it along the footpath like that.
Dunno if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but Mr nutty goat man decided to take my advice and stop dragging the goat. Very swiftly, he picked up the goat and carried it to our neighbours recycling bin. And put the goat into the bin, takes the bin and proceeds up the road with a wheely bin with a goat inside.
I was utterly horrified.
I'm still following him at this point; far enough away that I could run (yeah, who was I kidding, maybe I could've rolled) away, but close enough to be able to talk (?) to him and see where he was going.
He was getting rather agitated at me at this point, and started telling me to 'Piss off'. I kept repeating no, I was not going to piss off until he either let the goat go, or give the goat to me. That the police had been called and were on their way.
He started roaring at me - I was this, that and the other thing; and not only that, he did have a gun and was going to shoot me. I didn't believe he had a gun (seriously, he was more looney than scary), and figured his aim was going to be fairly off trying to lug a wheely bin, a goat and himself up, what was starting to be, a bloody big hill.
He crossed through the park and stopped to catch his breath. I stopped when he stopped, after all, I wasn't out to be a hero - I just wanted to know where he was going. Anyway, he took the goat out of the bin and went into the backyard of a house opposite the park.
I was rapt at this point. He was in a backyard, he couldn't possibly chuck the goat over a fence or anything, and the police were going to be there soon (of course they were, a goat was being dragged!!). But, of course, the owner of the house happened to pull into his driveway at just that time.
The little elderly gentleman hopped out of his car and looked at me funny; after all, I was pregnant, hot, frustrated and standing out the front of his house. I told him that maybe he might not want to go in there just yet; because there was a lunatic with a goat (I know, can you believe it!!) in his backyard and he might just want to wait for the police.
Instead of looking worried, this 4ft little italian man went beserk. Screaming obscenties (well, I'm sure they were, they sounded like it!!) with 'He got my goat, I keeeel him, I keeeel him!!' every so often.
He abrubtly turned from me and marched into his backyard. And dragged this lunatic out on by his ear. It was the oddest sight I had ever seen; this tiny little Italian bloke dragging out this 6ft tall lunatic. But, the weirdest bit was yet to come.
There were TWO goats. Little Italian man, as it turned out, also had a goat. And he thought that 6ft tall lunatic had stolen his goat. What started off as a screaming argument between them turned out to be a Thanks, have a great day amongst the two of them. Little Italian man shakes his hand, takes the goat and walks inside, not even looking backward at me.
I'm standing over the road with my mouth gaping open. I literally cannot believe it. Two goats in the one street.
So, little Italian man has gone inside and I am left all alone with one lunatic and no goat. He marches over to me, grabs my shoulder and starts screaming about some girl called Sue at the RSPCA. I say nothing except 'you should NOT drag a goat up the road' and eventually he just gives up and shoves me away. He starts up the bloody big hill.
I'm ok, but am very hacked off at the police; I bloody told them he was a nutter. And, not two seconds after he leaves my line of sight, Keystone cops style, 3 cars come screaming up the road. I pointed out the direction he took and wandered back to mums.
On the way home I realised what an idiot I had been and howled until I got to mums. Where we waited for the police to come and take a statement. And waited. And waited.
We're still waiting.
Now. If someone told you that story you'd not ever have believed it. But, true enough; every single thing happened!!
Bizarre or what?!!!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Reasons why.....
It's not so much about the safety of wildlife for me; although it is certainly up there. It is the thought that, someone, somewhere, will find my poor cat on a road, runover by a car. Paralyzed from the neck down freezing. The fact that I would have to rely on someone else to reassure him, cry for him and be kind to him and take him to the vet at 6am, being prepared to pay whatever bill was required.
The fact that someone else would be notified that there is nothing the vet could do; he would have to be euthanased. And that my cat would be all alone. I would never forgive myself.
They are why I keep my cat locked inside. With an enclosure attached.
To the person whose cat it was I found on the road outside our house yesterday morning; it's ok. I looked after your cat, took him to the vet and reassured him that he was going to be ok. It was I that cried when the vet called and I who mourned his loss. I don't even think you'd know yet - your cat wasn't microchipped. Hopefully the council will notify you tomorrow.
Just so you know - he wasn't alone. And someone has spent 2 days crying over such a stupid loss.
If you do decide to get another animal - please keep him inside at night. Not for the wildlife - but for his own safety. PLEASE.
The fact that someone else would be notified that there is nothing the vet could do; he would have to be euthanased. And that my cat would be all alone. I would never forgive myself.
They are why I keep my cat locked inside. With an enclosure attached.
To the person whose cat it was I found on the road outside our house yesterday morning; it's ok. I looked after your cat, took him to the vet and reassured him that he was going to be ok. It was I that cried when the vet called and I who mourned his loss. I don't even think you'd know yet - your cat wasn't microchipped. Hopefully the council will notify you tomorrow.
Just so you know - he wasn't alone. And someone has spent 2 days crying over such a stupid loss.
If you do decide to get another animal - please keep him inside at night. Not for the wildlife - but for his own safety. PLEASE.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Random thoughts 101
Random thoughts (in no consecutive order);
Why am I feeling so lonely?
Dad: Fucking doctors and guessing. He's off to hospital today we hope....*it's all good, it's all good*.....they've taken him off ALL his medication, what happens if he has a heart attack, how are they going to treat him now, what happens if he does need a transplant, OMFG my father is going to die one day, how will I cope with that....*IT'S STILL GOOD, IT'S STILL GOOD*
I wish to christ this flu would bugger off. I've missed TWO WEEKS off work, Riley's missed one week of school and now Connor is on antibiotics. I'm living within these 4 walls and it's driving me mental, but it's nice being a stay at home parent sometimes, no it's not, I hate it and want to go back to work, but there's nothing to do at work, so there's no point in forcing the kids back when there's nothing to be running back for...
Mafia bash was good; talk about complete talk-it-up to my girlfriend though!! They changed it all around and it was the more BORING night ever!! Although, we DID see Mick Gatto which was very interesting....
Why am I feeling so lonely?
How's Jenn going? Is she enjoying her beautiful little boy? Oh how I hope so. I hope that this is everything and more she thought it would be. I should send her a card, would that be weird, no I know Jenn would love it...
Why am I feeling so lonely?
I should really apologise to K for the other week. I am still mortified over it. I know she doesn't care, but it showed me a few things. Her birthday is coming up, I will sit down and write her a letter. I know she'll understand and I will put what I want to say down far better than talking to her with that meathead around. Next time, we should do something completely different.
Why am I feeling so lonely?
I SHOULD get a real estate agent in here and value this place so we can see what we are up for whichever option we take. But it needs so much WORK!!! If I start doing something, we'll slowly get it where we're happy to sell it. It doesn't REALLY need THAT much work; I know, if I keep ontop of everything, it will all be ok. I don't want to sell this, I want to keep it and rent it, but no, I want to sell it and go in without a committment, I SHOULD see a financial advisor, but I don't want to overcommitt, but I DO want to keep this house.....
Why am I feeling so lonely?
Work is quiet when I AM there. tick, tock, tick tock go the hours. There are A HUNDRED things I could be doing other than sitting here and doing nothing. Why am I working? Why don't I just go find another job? Oh, but if I do that, I'll break Dad's heart and J will resent me forever, do I really want that, I don't CARE what she thinks, but she's my sister......
I've been a very good girl and done a whole heap of baking; keep on top of that. It's easy, it's half fun and the kids love my banana cake. Only do what you can do though; no pressure and you'll want to keep doing it. You don't eat the type of things that are in the freezer, so there is no worry about weight.
Saving money; if we can save money, we can move to the next thing we want to do. Oh, swimming/electricity/rates/kinder etc are due? R and C need new clothes and G went away for the weekend? Oh yes. We'll start saving THIS week. Oh that's right, it's J's and G's birthday...Ok, next week....arrggh, we are NEVER going to hit our goal at this rate!!!
All these excuses over weight loss; for what? Do what needs to be done and you will have the results you want to have? But who cares anyway, it's only me and there are far more important things to be worried about right now; and I'll start tomorrow. Stop the woe is me and hurry up. DO SOMETHING and you will SEE SOMETHING. No, pills will NOT help you, no one would give them to you anyway and you already know what to do, you just need to put up and shut up....
Why am I feeling so lonely?
FINALLY some rain. It's annoying and it's cold and it's icky - but that rain is more than needed. I hope hope hope that this will be the year we get some half decent rain; I am secretly terrified of what happens if we run out of water. Please rain for at LEAST today. Pour down; just end up in the freaking catchments.
Why am I feeling so lonely?
Amongst many others...
Why am I feeling so lonely?
Dad: Fucking doctors and guessing. He's off to hospital today we hope....*it's all good, it's all good*.....they've taken him off ALL his medication, what happens if he has a heart attack, how are they going to treat him now, what happens if he does need a transplant, OMFG my father is going to die one day, how will I cope with that....*IT'S STILL GOOD, IT'S STILL GOOD*
I wish to christ this flu would bugger off. I've missed TWO WEEKS off work, Riley's missed one week of school and now Connor is on antibiotics. I'm living within these 4 walls and it's driving me mental, but it's nice being a stay at home parent sometimes, no it's not, I hate it and want to go back to work, but there's nothing to do at work, so there's no point in forcing the kids back when there's nothing to be running back for...
Mafia bash was good; talk about complete talk-it-up to my girlfriend though!! They changed it all around and it was the more BORING night ever!! Although, we DID see Mick Gatto which was very interesting....
Why am I feeling so lonely?
How's Jenn going? Is she enjoying her beautiful little boy? Oh how I hope so. I hope that this is everything and more she thought it would be. I should send her a card, would that be weird, no I know Jenn would love it...
Why am I feeling so lonely?
I should really apologise to K for the other week. I am still mortified over it. I know she doesn't care, but it showed me a few things. Her birthday is coming up, I will sit down and write her a letter. I know she'll understand and I will put what I want to say down far better than talking to her with that meathead around. Next time, we should do something completely different.
Why am I feeling so lonely?
I SHOULD get a real estate agent in here and value this place so we can see what we are up for whichever option we take. But it needs so much WORK!!! If I start doing something, we'll slowly get it where we're happy to sell it. It doesn't REALLY need THAT much work; I know, if I keep ontop of everything, it will all be ok. I don't want to sell this, I want to keep it and rent it, but no, I want to sell it and go in without a committment, I SHOULD see a financial advisor, but I don't want to overcommitt, but I DO want to keep this house.....
Why am I feeling so lonely?
Work is quiet when I AM there. tick, tock, tick tock go the hours. There are A HUNDRED things I could be doing other than sitting here and doing nothing. Why am I working? Why don't I just go find another job? Oh, but if I do that, I'll break Dad's heart and J will resent me forever, do I really want that, I don't CARE what she thinks, but she's my sister......
I've been a very good girl and done a whole heap of baking; keep on top of that. It's easy, it's half fun and the kids love my banana cake. Only do what you can do though; no pressure and you'll want to keep doing it. You don't eat the type of things that are in the freezer, so there is no worry about weight.
Saving money; if we can save money, we can move to the next thing we want to do. Oh, swimming/electricity/rates/kinder etc are due? R and C need new clothes and G went away for the weekend? Oh yes. We'll start saving THIS week. Oh that's right, it's J's and G's birthday...Ok, next week....arrggh, we are NEVER going to hit our goal at this rate!!!
All these excuses over weight loss; for what? Do what needs to be done and you will have the results you want to have? But who cares anyway, it's only me and there are far more important things to be worried about right now; and I'll start tomorrow. Stop the woe is me and hurry up. DO SOMETHING and you will SEE SOMETHING. No, pills will NOT help you, no one would give them to you anyway and you already know what to do, you just need to put up and shut up....
Why am I feeling so lonely?
FINALLY some rain. It's annoying and it's cold and it's icky - but that rain is more than needed. I hope hope hope that this will be the year we get some half decent rain; I am secretly terrified of what happens if we run out of water. Please rain for at LEAST today. Pour down; just end up in the freaking catchments.
Why am I feeling so lonely?
Amongst many others...
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Favorite Blogs?
What are yours? I have a select number that I read religiously - most days in fact. But, I want more. Any subject matter at all; I just want to find some more nice blogs to read.
What are your five favorite Blogs?
What are your five favorite Blogs?
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