Regroup

I 'shut up shop' this weekend.

Not literally; although, once I was done with the kinder fete, I just about ran home. But, my family needed time as a family; and I wanted to be part of that.

G and the kids came down and had a great time at the fete. It was lovely to watch them together; I was even a tad envious that I couldn't be part of what they were at the time. Watching them without them knowing, I saw so much in their faces, their walks and their behaviours toward each other.

G loves those kids. It sounds so very blase I know, but he loves them. Watching his face light up when R got his face painted (R is nearly 7 and has only ever had it done once in his life - about 2 months ago), and laughing at C, who was trying to do somersaults on the jumping castle, just melted my heart.

Once we were home, we went out into the park with the kids bikes and him and I sat on a rug whilst Harvey dog wandered about and the kids tore down the hill on their bikes. We talked about what we wanted, where we wanted and why we wanted. Days like those are the days that bind us together; and whilst we did nothing important, it was a beautiful day spent with those I love most in the world.

We played trouble with the boys and ate a late dinner. Once the kids were showered, we put Harvey dog inside and bundled into the car down to the local park where our town festival was on. Pulled up a patch of grass and watched.

There's something really special about fireworks. I don't quite know what, but I felt happy. Sitting there with hundreds of other members of my community, watching my boys eyes light up with all the pretty lights, I felt complete. As though I have accomplished something I have been trying to do for a long time.

I think I can forgive.

I think I already have.

I caved this morning and rang mum; dad is doing really well. He's having regular gastro something or other (a tube down his throat to see how the bowel is handling everything) and, apart from reflux and heartburn, he's doing really well. One big change of note; the carbs have been backed right off on a hunch. And I think that it's working.

My logic is; when you go on a diet, you're told to eat low GI foods because they take longer to process. When your bowel is being used to flush crazies, logic says that you don't really want to tie it up with stupid carbs. So, on a logic hunch, we've cut back his carbs. And he's been NOT crazy for an entire week. And not just NOT crazy; SANE. Nearly coming-back-to-work sane.

I don't want to get my hopes up that we're finally managing something; I'm simply not prepared to crash as hard as I did earlier. But, it's a positive, and I'll take what I can get.

The rest of Sunday was spent packing and baking. I am beginning to simplify again and I feel really good about it. I have much more room in the new house in which to store stuff, make stuff and DO stuff; the possibilities are endless.

I want Santa to bring a sewing machine. Or, failing Christmas (hello, we've just bought a new house!!) - birthday. But, I want to learn to sew.