Pooped

If I wrote down here everything I have done over the last two days, I'm sure 99% of you would pass out. Two A5 pages - DONE. One more to go tomorrow.

I don't waste this child free time you know - I have things to do!!

Will recap when I am not falling asleep.

Water

Instead of walking this morning, I watered. My neighbour needs to use our washing machine today, and had I not watered, all that water would've been wasted because our grey water storage is full.

In Victoria, our storage levels are really low. The state government have urged all households to be under 155l per person per day. I imagine, without some grey water use, gardening would be a whole heap more difficult.

Here at our place, we haven't used tap water to water our plants in 18 months or so. When the stage 3 restrictions came in, my darling husband rigged up a grey water catchment for our washing machine water, bath & shower water.

Here's how.

The 240l bin catches all the grey water and stores it for whenever we need to use it. Usually, I do one load every 2 days or so - that, plus any other water generally fills the bin to 3/4 full. Having it stored means I don't have to use it straight away (although, you should use it within 24 hours to prevent ickies); but most importantly - I can use the water wherever I want.

Submersed in the bottom of the bin is a submersible pump. Not a powerful pump by any means, but enough that it can pump the water out of the small distance hose G has attached. I can either water the entire backyard via the hose; or I can bucket it up to the front.

This morning, I bucketed all the water up to the front yard; and watered it more than sufficiently. So, one load of washing = my front yard watered for 2-3 days.

Many gardeners are complaining about the restrictions - 'it's not fair we can't water' and 'our house price will drop because of our foul yards'. Now. I'll happily admit our front lawn is buggered. When we moved here, it was a well looked after, Don Burke style lawn. Now, it's a dustbowl. But, rather than fight a losing battle; we will eventually just get rid of the lawn in it's entirety and plant native, drought tollerant plants there instead.

Obviously there are always improvements to be made in the water saving area. And, really, it doesn't matter how we got here; whose fault it is, who didn't / did what the day before. What are any of these excuses / blaming games going to do when we run out completely?

As an aside - I made some washing powder the other day too. Rhonda from Down to earth has some excellent home made cleaners here - I used the heavy duty powder.

Works a treat!!

The C word

I have had a C word of a day. No, seriously. A capital letter C word of a day.

Let me recap.

G has been out all night last night doing some changeover refrigeration type stuff. He gets home and asks me to quickly copy a file for him into his refrigeration (aka I have NFI what this program even DOES) program. I oblige.

Except, I copied it to the wrong place. And, I had no idea where I'd copied it to. And completely crashed said magical refrigeration program.

I felt sick. You know that pit in your gut; the 'I'm never going to eat again this ball of guilt is so big' type pit? That. Times about 12.

So, I took said computer into work and spent the day trying to fix it. Four hours later (I never said I was a computer technician) I restored it. Whacky doo me. G is happy, but BUGGERED (he'd not slept because he was worried about it).

The other day our air conditioner died. Upped and died. Of course, the following few days were high 30's, and of course we were meant to have 13 people over for R's birthday, and of course one of the four darling adult friends was 38 weeks pregnant and of course the ambient temperature that morning in the house was 28. But, it was a motor, thank dog. G pulled it out and got it rewound.

It was ready today. So, being the lovely husband he is, picked it up and put it in. Because, tomorrow, the boys are all off camping/farming for the weekend and leaving me at home. For three days. ALONE.

So, I get home from work, grab G and head to mums. Mum has this big 'oh we simply must have a birthday dinner for every man and his dog' and of course, it was Rileys big night. It was a lovely night and we got in the car and sang 'going on a bear hunt' the whole way home.

Get home and start organising the kids to leave first thing in the morning.

Notice a BIGGGG water patch in the roof. Look a little further; a biiiiggg bubble of water underneath the paint. G had knocked some float switch when he replaced the motor - water everywhere in the roof. How the roof didn't cave in is beyond me; actually, no, it's not - the water was in all the ducts.

6 BUCKETS later. And a float switch back in place.

Air conditioning water is THE most dirty, grimy filthy water on the planet. And, whilst my garden will tolerate it; my white laundry won't.

So, instead of doing all those little jobs you never get around to whilst kids are underfoot - I shall be cleaning up stinky, dirty, grimy, filthy water up properly in the laundry.

Oh. And my neighbours coming to do her washing tomorrow; her laundry is being gutted.

All's well that ends well I suppose; but I have NO fingernails left, and I'm sure my blood pressure has been going nuts all day.

Happy Birthday darling boy

Today, is my firstborns birthday. 6 years ago today, I was up (as I always am) at the hospital, nervous as all get out about having this child. I'd had very little sleep because I'd had gel inserts through the night and I was so wanting them to work. Uh-uh.

At 8am this morning, the drip would be inserted in an attempt to induce it further. Even on full noise, nothing. At 9am, my waters would be broken and it is right here, right here, I swear my body said "right. You want labour?? You've got it. 3.47 hours afterwards, after being 0cms dialated; he was born.

And so began one of the most traumatic things in my life.

Riley was an easy baby in hindsight. At the time though, it was the hardest thing I have ever done. Putting up and shutting up when I was as sick as I was; was the dumbest thing I have ever done.

For a long time, I felt as though I had failed. I left the hospital one night because I felt so claustraphobic I couldn't breathe. And, rather than tell someone I wasn't coping; I just left. I was always coming back; but they didn't think I was. I was not ready to be a mother; and not ready to show my complete and utter failure at it to a bunch of midwife strangers who thought they knew better.

But, he's 6 today. The soft soul of mine; the thoughtful, gentle one. The one who will, one day, break one womans heart. The one who will, one day, do anything for his friends. The one who, finally, tries so hard for anything he wants to reach. The one who can't accept failure; rather than fail, he just refuses to start until he knows he can do it.

My mother used to talk about loving my sister and I differently. And me, being niave, wondered how. Now I know.

Connor, I love passionately; angrily almost. He demands it in everything he does. He is passionate by nature. With Riley, I love softly, almost poetically. 'Tread carefully, else you'll tread on my dreams' comes to mind with Riley.

He starts school in two weeks and I am just so proud for him and of him. He's come so very far these last couple of years and tried so very hard to get where he is today. I love him for that. I love him for being the person I want when I am unhappy; the one who sits stroking your hair when you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.

My deep and meaningful boy.

Happy birthday.

I'm here, I'm alive...

But I just don't have much to say. Probably partly because I'm just not in the right headspace today. I feel like I am slowly being backed into a corner.

At least I know why. That's always a good thing.

We set up Connors bed yesterday; but he's still on the floor. The FARKING MATTRESS isn't here yet.

I am hoping today will be a catch up day. A serious one. Because, if I don't get things organised this week, I will probably end up having a nervous breakdown.

Here's some of what I did this week;

With C's bedroom suite, we also got a bookshelf. That was always going into the study; because the study was just the FOULEST, most unorganised place in the universe. So.....

Before....

After....

Finally started picking tomatoes yesterday. Only 3 cherry ones; I don't know WHAT is going on. I'm assuming the weather is partly responsible; we've had one green tomato for at LEAST 2 weeks; but the weather is only just now starting to heat up a tad. They'd want to hurry up; I want to pull that bed out (well, actually the entire vegie patch is getting pulled out and we are putting a tank in and shifting it all round a touch...) and start getting it ready for winter.

I walked lots last week and ate really well; I'm yet to see whether it's even remotely been worth my while. I feel better, so at least there's one reason right there.

Connors room has been totally cleaned. Every cobweb, blind, piece of clothing, unused toy etc has been pulled out, looked at, sorted and dealt with. The salvos got so many clothes and bits and pieces yesterday it was a joke. The kid has SO many clothes. Mostly because my friend has twins that are the perfect size for Connor to get all their outgrown stuff. So, getting that x 2; PLUS my mother, equal a LOT of clothes.

So much for having nothing to say!!!

Hodgepodge of bits and pieces

I'm sorry, but this post is going to be a mish mash of bits and pieces; I have little to say about lots of things.

Firstly. Jodie asked how R got his stitches. Going down our (v.V.steep) driveway on his scooter like a bat out of hell. He's great now though; even has a 'tough guy' scar right above his eyebrow. Tis very proud of it and can't wait to show everyone at school.

Second. Our holiday. Great fun. Some pics? Why, certainly.

We went to the beach...

We built some sandcastles.... (PS: it's a spider)

Only to tear them down again.

Some of the views....

But it was a really nice, RELAXING week. And, I was very spoilt - we had power and a shower and even a laundry. Love camping.

New year. This is where I will start waxing lyrical about how I'm 'gunna' do this, that and the other thing; probably much the same as I did here. Funnily enough; I think the same way. Goes to show just how much of a waste 2008 was huh??

And I quote;

1. Be more open. I shut myself off so well and so easily - often to my own detriment. Being shy comes across so easily as being elusive - and it really
concerns me to think people may think I am elusive or snobby. I have been doing very well with that; breaking out of my comfort zone. I have come a considerable way with this in particular in 2008. Obviously though; the more I give, the more open to being hurt I will be; but I feel more able to handle it.

2. Committ more time to friendships. I am horribly guilty of not maintaining friendships. I think that shutting myself off has something to do with it in the sense that I can't talk to anyone until my world is ending IYKWIM. I can't say "hey look, I'm sliding down this hill, wanna grab me a rope?"

I tend to be more "hey look, I've fallen in this hole, the water is up to my nostrils and is rising fast - wanna give me a hand??" I will give the world to anyone - but I also must realise that in order to be the friend I want to be - I have to HAVE the friends too. Like a give and a take. I'd personally feel uncomfortable if I were continuously opening up to someone, only for them to not say a damn thing about themselves.
Making BIGGGG effort here and it is true. An old friendship just might be re-established because of this and #1.

3. Simplify. Everything. My life, my weight, my reaosns for being. Everything.
Ahh, not so much. Definately DEFINATELY more I can do in this area; but I feel I have a much better hold on my mental health to enable me to go further with this.

4. Recycle more. Reuse more. At work, at home, in the car; life in general.
Slowly but surely; but this will be something that will NEVER be 'finished'

5. Communicate more. In verbal, written - whatever. Just get it all down and out.
I have kept this blog AND my journal for an entire year. My journal is a massive thing for me especially.

Basically, this year was a big learning curve. I grew up, so to speak. The magical fairies don't live in the bottom of the garden, and things aren't always black and white. Sometimes, actually, scratch that, MOST of the time - they are grey. Varying shades at that. But, I can't ever say 'done' - because these 'goals' are forever elusive and will never be 'done' in any sense.

This year, 2009, I want to put all I've learned into practice. And, I can't help but achieve that; because it's what I've been doing the entire time. I could go on and on and on, but I won't; that'd be too long a post and would probably incite sleep pretty quickly!!!

We're back...

Hot, tired, dirty, sweaty, fat and happy.

Had a ball. But note three things.

1. Putting sunscreen on your children does NOT mean that it will cover you in the sun.

2. Unlike the river, where there is no one around, you CANNOT be loud, raucous and lively at 2am in a caravan park.

3. Beach for a holiday is probably not the best idea when your firstborn is as scared of crabs as I am of huntsmen.

We had a ball. Loads of laughs, fun, sunburn and dirt. Nothing better. Except, maybe, the river.

Happy New year!!!

Short and sweet for the minute unfortunately - we've been here just on two days and we're leaving again tomorrow for a week at the beach camping!

Christmas was one big plethora of food, presents, wine, laughter and fun. Although it was a quiet one, we all had a fantastic time. Riley's stitches were a focal point for him - he was so proud of them!!

That night, we came home. I organised the house, put all the new stuff away, finished packing and went to bed. At 8am, we left for the farm.

Another great time. Seriously, life is SO simple and easy up there (particularly when one SIL didn't make it... ;) ). Swimming in the dam, riding bikes, reading books and catching up with family - really, it's just a great place. As an aside, we went and checked out 'our' block (if that's where we actually end up!!!) and more than ever we both want to go.

Back home for NYE; I would've loved to have gone to Sydney with some beautiful friends; but it wasn't to be. It was just going to be cutting it all too fine. So, instead, we went up to our friends place who has had a small 'tree change' - sitting up on a hill, we could see ALL the fireworks - even the city ones. Great night; quiet, but great fun.

Tomorrow; we are off for another week. It is instead of our 'river' trip. We figured (back then), it would be simply too hot. Although; it's not remotely as hot as it has been; but it'll be nice to go somewhere different.

Today is a mess of packing, lunching and sorting, as we need to leave by 6am tomorrow. I did get the portable DVD off my father though - so at least the entire trip won't be 'are we there yet'!!!

Hope your break was wonderful and I shall be back around the 10th.