I've been thinking a great deal. Yes, if you knew me, you'd realise just how scary that is. But, there is so much to think about - about everything.
How do you know that you're taking the right path? Is it a guess? Is it a feeling in your gut that eats away at you until you have no choice but to follow it or die? Or is it something you decide once you've been down the path?
I don't know if I'm on the path I am meant to be on - and who decides where I'm *meant* to be anyway? If I'm not on the right path, but I'm overall content - do I stay on that path? Or do I risk everything; and I mean everything; and follow my heart and my gut?
Even if I were to risk everything - I don't know that I would even want to. I don't even know if that makes sense. But, I'd imagine that, if you were going to turn your life completely, irreversibly upside down; that you'd want to be desperately unhappy with your current one.
Or would you?
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
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4 comments:
Sometimes you make a decision simply because your gut tells you to in the face of overwhelming evidence for the contrary. In some cases you get shafted but you learn from it. In others you end up somewhere that was only possible by taking that impossible risk.
And I think that usually it works out. It's how I got here. The absolute best (but scariest and most irrevocable) decision I ever made was when I was euphorically happy with the path I was on, and knew that the other path would never be the same.
But what a scary thought Jenn!! What happens if the other path ends somewhere completely different, or is a dead end road?? You have the possibility of either happiness you never knew existed, or the possibility of being more alone than you have ever been in your life?!! (metaphorically and literally)
Or, you can just stay safe and sound on the path you are on, and remain, whilst not unhappy; unfulfilled.
I believe in love :) So I'm always going to take the risk.
What's the worst that could happen? Even if the path you take doesn't work out the way you expected, there are so very few things in life that can't be changed. Never what it was, but something else that may be better.
And therein lies my biggest fear. What if it's worse?
I believe in love too. I think that is my biggest problem.
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