Finding the constant

I look forward to moving. It's funny; you pack up all the same stuff that you have gotten, dump it somewhere else - and it feels like a whole new life.

I am looking forward to my new house. To having more storage than I know what to do with; to being able to stock my pantry properly and fit another freezer in. To being able to keep jars and ingredients with which to bake.

I am looking forward to my vegie patch; I have already started vaguely drawing up plans and am going to start preparing it for Winter next year.

I am looking forward to simplifying again. Things around here have been so ridiculously complicated that I feel as though I have just wound myself up in a tight ball and am unable to untangle it. So, we will pack up and have a 'new start'.

It is the 'new' start of a long life. Many things are in the pipeline for changing; but the one thing I was so sure would change - has actually been about the only constant. My family.

My little beautiful family are all I have that is constant in this world; it's very humbling to know that. I know I made the right decision way back here and the more things change and get harder and harder to deal with; the more certain I am that I have all that I need.

Slowly things are starting to sort themselves out in every other which way; and I know that things will work out one way or another. I've given up fighting and making attempts to change things/see things differently with regards to my father; all we can ever do there is ride the ups and the downs. The ups and the downs aren't quite as severe these days, which is definately a good thing; although they are as constant as ever.

My extended family are also riding a wave of their own; accepting this, and all the other changes that have happened with my sister leaving and dad being sick. Some have, some haven't; and the way they choose to ride their wave is of no business of mine. I realise now that I am not so strong that I will never break; I have now broken, the cyst has burst and is now starting to heal for me. The others? Well, I'm not sure.

All I can do is make sure my one constant stays happy. My family and my boys.

Connor is FOUR next week. THAT is scary.