Learning new things

I have been very busy of late. Doing? Not a great deal. Well, no, I won't say that; but I've been pottering.

I've wanted to post sooner; but I wanted to have something that I have finally accomplished to show. It has taken me about 20 years to learn; but I can finally say that I can knit.

It's not great yet – but I can DO IT. I am ¾ of the way through what, I have decided, will be a new bed for our cat. Only because the colour of the wool truly is awful; and I have a few holes in it for it to be anything fantastic. Hopefully I will finish it in the next few days, learn how to cast off and then I will take a photo of it.

This weekend we went up to our friends property. T'was very nice to catch up after too long – they used to be our neighbours, but have moved out on an acreage 6 months ago. I wished I'd taken my camera, because there were some really pretty sights to see.

I got up early, as I always do, and went for a meander. It was a mild morning (which surprised me because it was bitterly cold the night before) and it was really clear. You could see for miles. All the farm animals were waking from their slumber, ready for a new day. And, it got me thinking.

Animals have no expectations. They don't wonder what is coming (at least, I don't think they do); they just take it as it comes and not think about things too much. It is something I think I need to learn from them.

On my way back, I saw a mother kangaroo and her baby, eating grass in my friends front yard. I'd have been, maybe, 5 meters from them and it was really humbling to see that these wild animals couldn't have given 2 hoots about me.

It was nice. Something that I really needed; a sort of rejuvenation, if you will.

I came home with a new purpose. To not think so much, to simplify and to stop worrying about what I cannot change. Whatever will be, will be regardless of how much I worry or think. To not worry does nothing except allow my mind to focus on other things. And, for me, at the minute, is me.

This blog has turned completely into what I never wanted. A verbal blah fest with me whinging and carrying on about all sorts of things. But, while I know that people read it, it's not about them. It never HAS been about them. So, on thinking whether I should say goodbye to blogland and hello to my journal – I have decided to not. If no one reads my blog, then really, I'm not worried. I wasn't worried when I started this, so I am not worried now.

People I have never imagined reading this blog have contacted me with regards to it. And, initially, I turn all shy. Because, this is *my* world and I am nervous that people I know are reading it. It makes me vulnerable. And god forbid Shel ends up remotely vulnerable.

But, on thinking – I'm not really vulnerable at all. They are my thoughts, feelings and stories; and I need to own them. Regardless of how childish, immature or personal they may seem. They are me.

So, that is what I have learnt this past week. Knitting, and to get over it.