Disability

I've always thought that everyone has some sort of disability. Some are easy to spot, whilst others, much like myself, are a little harder.

Well, not this week anyway.

I've done my back. Well, no, I correct that. My muscle in my lower back has twisted and is causing THE most awful pain down both my legs. Like Sciatica, but both legs and all the time.

Crutches are fun with two kids. NOT. But, it shall be sorted today by the manipulator. She's so good it's scary - I often feel like an evangelist walking out. I hobble in with crutches; and walk out tall, tossing my crutches exclaiming 'oh thank the lord'. Picture Sunday morning TV and you've got me. But, the feeling of having a muscle of four untwisted is something I cannot explain, and something I find very difficult to subject myself too. But, for those 5 minutes of unbelievable; the end of the constant 'zzzt' pain comes. Straight away. Then, for about 3 weeks, I have bruises that would put Rocky's opponent to shame. In the weirdest places.

Anyway. Back to disabilities.

I cannot believe how differently you are treated. Hey, I know it's only crutches today; but the day before I was limping around like nobodies business through the supermarket. It's disgusting. Truly beyond me just how disgusting and awful some people are. I'm lucky; mine is sorted today; but to imagine living with this behaviour of other people just shows me how remarkable those with permanent physical disabilities really are.

No one could care less. And that scares me.

My general disability is emotional. I am emotionally retarded; I have this lack of ability to make myself vulnerable. Something that no one sees unless they are close enough to notice.

I think I prefer my disability to that on the outside.