Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mothers day and weekends away

Things over this side of the world are plodding along nicely. Given I've taken no photos in the last, I don't know, EON, you're just going to have to put up with my incessant ramblings without pictures to break up thy ramblings.

I am almost ashamed to admit my biggest want for mothers day. I feel awfully guilty for wanting it, but nonetheless, it's something that I am beginning to need. Time out.

I love my kids. Please do not get me wrong. But, being 100% parent for the last 8 weeks is really starting to take it's toll. G pitches in when he's here; but he's also aware of how little he sees them. So, rather than be 'bad cop' parent - he always chooses 'good cop'. And, I am stuck with 'bad cop'. When, during the week, I have to be both. The children run rings around me when he's home, and honestly I cannot stand it.

This next weekend brings a weekend of child free time for both me and him. But, whilst we lose our children; I get to be in the company of some other children. Although, they are not considered children by their age; they certainly are due to their behaviour.

My family is weird. Granted. They are the material gods; those whose lives depend on the stuff you have. And, the more stuff you have, the more important you must be. My sisters photo is in Wikipedia under the 'spoilt little brat' definition. Because of that.

But, I digress.

G is one of 4 boys. That means, (because none of them are gay much to my disgust) that there are 3 other females that we regularly must spend time with. And, seriously - I have decided to pick their future wives for them. Because, they are hopeless in doing it for themselves.

Oldest - Married a pure psycho. I mean, you think I am organised. Bah. I once babysat her two girls and was given the list. And on that list, was the order in which certain events were to take place. It went something like as follows;

6.05 - Bath Children
6.15 - Child #1 bottle
6.20 - Child #2 cup of milk
6.25 - Both children story
6.30 - Child #1 - change nappy
6.32 - Child #1 bed
6.40 - Child #2 - change nappy and find special toy
6.45 - Child #2 bed

And that is SERIOUS. I did ask what happened if Child #1 took longer than 5 minutes to have her bottle; but the look of disgust I received was answer enough. Obviously that didn't happen.

So, anyway. He married her. She turned into even more of a nutter, until he got to the point where he couldn't stands no more. 4.5 years after they separated, they finalised the divorce. Her settlement, after 4.5 years of fighting was something like $35K less than what he originally offered her - and she got the added bonus of the ridiculous legal fees that came with it. Over stuff like "he can't take the children to the farm - there might be fires up there". Ironically, there was a fire around her place that very same weekend.

You get the point.

He is now with normal woman, whome I adore. We have a ball together; she is similar to me, and me her and we have lots of fun together. Thank GOD he met her, because she is about the only good thing arising from this 'weekend away with G's family'. Oh, and G's brothers; whome I also adore; but despise their choices in women.

Brother #2 - Married mrs 'I am a perfect person, parent and IL. No matter what anyone says, I am perfect and what I say must be right because if I think it, it simply must be right'.

All I will say about her is that she thought gumnuts came off wattle trees. Yes, she is Australian. And blond.

Brother #3 - Isn't married yet, but he mayaswell be. They have a *cough* firey relationship at best; and rather than count up all the goods vs bads and walk away - they had a child. 4 weeks into that delightful child's life, she threw out the 'if you ever leave me, don't ever think you'll see your daughter again' line. Noice huh?? And, I know it's true, because she bragged to me about it. They are now pregnant with #2 - which was an accident. Thank christ it was an accident, because I'd have thought a whole lot less of Brother #3 if he planned to give this woman his other testicle. And, his house. But, he's done that already; because, as she put it so nicely 'I'm not fucking moving out; I have his child. Let him fucking go'. Lovely girl no?

Girls from brothers #2 & #3 do NOTHING. At the farm at any one time, there are 20 people. Yes, 20. when you include all the children and all the couples and G's parents, there are 20 people to cook for, clean up after, and generally keep happy. It is the very reason why so much red wine is consumed. But, not only do they not help with anything; they don't even look after their own kids. All those left behind in the we feel it right and good to help cook dinner for 20 people are also caring/sorting/cooking/cleaning up after their children too.

Anyhoo. MIL cannot stand either of them. Which, I think, the feeling is mutual.

So. This 'weekend away to relax, unwind and have fun' will entail girls #2 & #3 who will do nothing, whinge about everything and not participate in one single way. It will also entail MIL, whose birthday it is, drinking far too much than is required. Which (I hope) will lead to a great big shitfight between the three females. Whilst me & girl #1 sit back, drink our home made Baileys and heave a great big sigh; and rejoice in the normalness that is us.

Yay. It's nearly not worth leaving the children at home for. But, a weekend without the kids is still a weekend without the kids. And, at the moment, I wish it were fathers day. Because, then I could openly state that all I wanted was to be left alone.

But anyway; I shall go back to bed now, and pretend that I haven't been up for the last 1.5 hours; so the darling chilluns can come in screaming 'happy mothers day'. Give me their delightful presents (which they are, they've both painted / stuck hands in plaster things and I have a delightful wall in which all painted/plastered tiles go and I've been wanting to add to it for awhile), and we will have a big family cuddle.

Then, it's off to the land of the material gods for a brunch. And, $20 says my mother will be all sniffy because we only got her a book, a candle and some flowers. But, when we ask her what she would have liked - she'll say 'nothing. I have everything I want'. Don't you just love family??

Happy mothers day to everyone; and may your day be truly lovely. And, get back to basics; because it's what I'll be doing.

1 comment:

Ellie said...

eeek I can empathise. My DH has 6 yes 6 sisters. It is deadset full on this one doesn't talk to this one and that one can't be around that one - I get a headache just thinking about it.

Surprisingly they all picked great husbands what a shame half of them (my SIL's) are psycho.

Gotta love families.