Tarot Cards and other things...

This last week has been harrowing for me both literally and emotionally. Literally; at work, I have been put in charge of a laser etcher; which is a great tool, once you know how to use it. I, however, got a job for the hilton hotel - a job that had to be done straight away; and by the way, there is nothing for you to practice on.

Ace.

Emotionally - well it's just all to hard to even think about, let alone write about. When I do make an attempt to put it into words, it sounds all wrong and sordid. Which, I guess, ultimately it is; but....

I read my tarot cards for a perspective on me and where i am. This is what they said.

Card 1 (my issue)- Page of Pentacles - marks the gathering together of energy which can be eventually used for buidling things in the world anf for fulfilling the needs of the body. The page of Pentacles is a bud, a bare beginning, and like all buds, this gentle, delicate beignning must be nurtured and protected lest it be crushed through undervaluing and neglect.

Card 2 (Crossing card) - 6 of cups (sorry, it's sideways..)

The 6 of cards is a card of nostalgia. Here, Psyche is abandoned; but she appears tranquil. The 6 of cups is not an unhappy card; through the past, Psyche has gained something very precious. She has truly seen the situation for what it is. She has truly seen Eros and knows now that she loves him for himself; and not for the comfort and pleasure he has provided. Thus, despite her loss, she knows something about herself and it is this truth that fosters the harmony in this card.

Card 3 (direct influences) - 4 of swords

The four of swords reflects a quiet time of withdrawal and contemplation. It suggests a period of introversion and reflection, of emotional recouperation after an outbreak of conflict in the the three. This is a period of preparation before the tasking of making what changes are necessary in life as a result of the conflict.

Card 4 (Indirect influences) - Judgement

Judgement: Hermes is an image of a process which occurs at certian critical moments in time; a summing-up, when the experiences of the past are gathered together and seen as part of an intelligent pattern, and the consequences of these experiences must be understood and accepted.

Card 5 - Past Influences - Death

The card of death implies that something must come to an end. Whether this experience is painful depends on the persons capacity to accept and recognise the necessity of this ending. The card of Death can agure an opportunity for a new life; if one can let go of the old one. Thus the fool, enters the underworld, leaving behind him a previous life, to prepare for an unknown future.

Card 6 - future influences - The world

This is a period of triumph, at the sucessful conclusion of a matter, or the reaching of a goal that has been worked hard for. But, this peak is only a mere glimpse of something mysterious and elusive, and the dancing Hermaphroditus becomes the feotus who eventually emerges from the cave as the Fool. And so, the circle, is complete.

Card 7 - Base of the matter: Queen of swords (and this is SOOO me)

Atlanta, the queen of swords, is an image of the aloofness and untouchability of the mind; which can hold to an ideal of perfection to the extent that all sensual concerns are excluded or devalued. The figure of the Queen is a cool one; because her perfectionism and her idenfitication with the masculine world of the mind and spirit fit her for friendship; but not erotic love. Thus, she is a regal figure, but also a lonely one, and this loneliness; often springs less from the circumstances than from a reluctance to allow anything too human to mar the ideal of perfection. These ideals may be noble and lofty; but they may also reject life, and be a defense agains the fear of being human and therefore vulnerable to hurt.

Card 8 - other peoples perceptions: 4 of cups

Shows a time of dissatisfaction, boredom and depression within a relationship. There is a feeling of being let down, or cheated, although, the one who does the cheating is usually oneself because of ones unreal expectations. This dissatisfaction can lead to a long-standing resentment; or it can lead to looking more deeply at a relationship - a harder path because previous assumptions and fantasies will be challenged.

Card 9 - hopes and fears - Ace of swords

Implies that, out of conflict, some new creative viewpoint will emerge. The mental powers are awakening and this means a big change in one's life; the old order is threatened and conflicts are bound to arise. Ultimately, a resolution will be possible, but there is an inevitability of collusion and struggle before such a peace is in sight.

The final card; the conclusion - King of Swords

The king of swords is an image of strategic skills of the human mind at their most impressive. The king of swords is a man of principles, although these principles sometimes lack the depth of feeling which might relate to an individual situation, rather than a general law. He has high ideals about decency, kindness and fairness, and his tale reflects these principles. But, his kindness is cool, and not really built upon true emotional response. It is time to meet within oneself, the ambivilent gift of intellectual leadership and strategy; and intellectual prowess and inspired ideas about how to develop tings in the future are qualities which he possesses in abundance.

Make of it what you will dear readers - the tarot cards to me, provide another insight to the weird and wonderful world that is me. If it weren't for these cards, I'm sure I'd have been far far nuttier.