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If you knew where you'd end up in life; would you change it? Would you look at it and wonder "why in GODS name did I think that dress looked good???" Or, why you chose to do a Batchelor of Business instead of a Bachelor of teaching? Or, why you picked Fred and not Barney? If someone said to you tomorrow, "hey, lets go back 10 years and do it all again - but follow your heart entirely" - would you?

I don't know. I think I'd like to know where I'd have been and what I'd have been doing - as it stands, if I didn't have children, I'd have not cared so much about the earth - I'd have ended up back where my family are now. But, all the other stuff. Did I miss my sould mate along the way? Should I have ended up doing university at xxx?? Or should I have done YYY???

I adore my life. In trying to make it simple literally; things appear to be falling out of both my heart and mind. I look at Rhonda over at http://down---to---earth.blogspot.com/ and just hope that my life one day ends up so simple. I wish my life and my mind could be so simple. Love simply, laugh simply and live simply - that would be my life motto. And, I guess, it's something I have been trying to acheive these past months. I just don't know that my mind is catching on.

I read my tarot cards the other night. Yes, I know, you're probably giggling over your cup of coffee wondering WHY in gods name does this nut read tarot cards?? And I shall even answer that question.

Many years ago, I was lost. Lost as in utterly, completely. Inside, I felt like I was wandering alone in a forest; not having a clue where I was coming from or where I was even going to. My mum gave me these cards to give my life a bit of a different perspective. I am not one to talk about my feelings - allowing myself to have someone have something over me is a huge feat. So, the Tarot cards give me a different perspective - take me out of my own head, if you like, without telling a soul anything.

Since then, my cards have been an important part of my life. They are not, in my humble opinion, something that can be done every night and each card taken as gospel. They do not predict the future; nor do they really give any forebearing as to what is coming.

For me, they are just an alternative view of the same problem. By reading the cards, in their positions, and applied to whatever it is I am thinking about, give me an entirely different perspective; without having to feel vulnerable.

For what it's worth, I'm still lost. On so many different levels I'm lost. But the difference between then and now, is that some parts of me are found. Not found in the sense of Oh bugger, there's my earring lost - but in a more this is a part of me type found. I am finding bits and pieces of myself again - and putting that one special piece of me that will never be anyone elses up on a shelf. To look at with a tear in the eyes, and to remember all that could have been.

If I'd only had foresight and trusted myelf.